Healing Emotional Dependency by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
You are emotionally dependent when your happiness, sense of safety, and sense of worth are dependent upon others' love, attention, and approval.
When you were growing up, perhaps you heard statements like:
"What will the neighbors think?"
"What will__(so and so)__think if you do that?"
Were you taught that what others think of you matters? That you are okay if you are approved of and not okay if you are not? Was your worth tied to your achievements - such as your grades or sports? Did you learn to define your worth externally by your performance or your looks?
Most people were brought up to believe that others are responsible for defining their worth, and the media certainly plays on this,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, implying that if you buy this car or that product, you will get the approval that defines you as worthy. The media even implies that the product itself somehow enhances your worth.
This is a hard way to live, as you have to constantly prove yourself. And what happens to your happiness, safety, and sense of worth when you grow old and lose your looks, or you lose your money in a down market? What happens to your worth if you gain weight or never make it financially? Does this mean that you have no worth as a human being?
There are two major decisions you need to make to heal from emotional dependency:
1. You need to decide to learn how to take full 100% responsibility for your own feelings - your happiness and pain, your inner sense of safety, and your sense of worth.
2. You need to decide to define your worth - not by what others think of you or by your looks or by how much money you have, but by how well you love and what you contribute.
TAKING 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS
Taking responsibility for your feelings means that you stay aware of how you are causing your own feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, and fear by what you tell yourself and how you treat yourself,Ironically. It means that you discover how you abandon yourself by judging yourself, ignoring your feelings, turning to addictions, and making others responsible for you. It means that you learn how to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself. The Inner Bonding process is a powerful process for learning to love yourself.
Taking responsibility for your feelings also means that you become kind and gentle toward yourself with the painful feelings of life - the heartache, heartbreak, loneliness, grief, and sorrow of life. It means that instead of avoiding these feelings by trying to control others or by turning to various addictions, to embrace them with deep compassion, allowing yourself to feel them and allowing them to move through you and be released, and stay open to what these feelings are telling you about others and events.
DEFINING YOUR WORTH
Taking responsibility for defining your own worth means that decide to define your worth internally - by your kindness, caring, compassion, and contributions to others - rather than by approval, looks and performance. It means that, rather than trying to get love,We Are All Vibrations., you make being loving to yourself and others your highest priority. It means that, instead of defining your worth by how thin you are, or by how much sex you have, or by the clothes you wear, or by the car you drive or the house you live in or by how much money you have, you define your worth by your kindness toward yourself and others, by what you contribute toward helping others, by your generosity of spirit, by your ability to love without strings attached,and telling yourself that you will. It is a wonderful habit to cultivate..
In order to truly love others, you need to first learn to love yourself - taking emotional responsibility for all your own feelings. This is what the Inner Bonding process is all about.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
but should you have one if your have a weight problem
Life Is About Making Choices by William Turvey,making money and dealing with life's obstacles
You make choices every day of your life. Some decisions are good, some are bad.
Circumstances dictate your resulting action in any situation.
Sometimes you make bad decisions, for example:
A delicious cheeseburger with the works sounds very appetizing, but should you have one if your have a weight problem?
And what about having a cup of your favorite coffee before going to bed. It is tempting but you could be kept awake when you really want to go to sleep.
Yes, choices make up a big part of your life,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
Life is like a road. You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. Choosing to do the right thing all the time will not always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not mean that person will return your love. Accepting a good word from a superior does not always mean it will be easier for you to get promoted in your career. There are too many possible outcomes for every action.
Life offers no guarantee. You would never know that you made a wrong decision until after the decision is made.
You may as well take the risk and decide what you want to do. It is much better than sitting on the fence and doing nothing.
This is not always the best idea.
Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life's crossroads:
1 - Get as much information as you can about your situation.
Learn the who, what, when, where and why of your situation. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this going? Why are you in this situation. All the latter points are important. Often,Learning from Successful People, the reason for indecision is the lake of information about the situation.
2 - Weigh the pro and cons of every option.
Examine the advantages and disadvantages of each decision you could make. In this way, you will get insights about the consequences of such an action on your part.
3 - Trust yourself and make the decision.
You have taken a good look at your options. It is now time to trust yourself. Remember there are no guarantees. Wrong decisions can be made. Still, make a choice, decide what you are going to do, and choose the best option for this point in time.
You have now made your decision. Face its consequences: good or bad. The important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander,First and foremost. Time will tell if you made the right decision. Do not regret your decision. Learn from it and remember you will have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
To receive more insightful Self Improvement Tips sign up now for William's FREE 12 email series of information articles at :
You make choices every day of your life. Some decisions are good, some are bad.
Circumstances dictate your resulting action in any situation.
Sometimes you make bad decisions, for example:
A delicious cheeseburger with the works sounds very appetizing, but should you have one if your have a weight problem?
And what about having a cup of your favorite coffee before going to bed. It is tempting but you could be kept awake when you really want to go to sleep.
Yes, choices make up a big part of your life,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
Life is like a road. You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. Choosing to do the right thing all the time will not always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not mean that person will return your love. Accepting a good word from a superior does not always mean it will be easier for you to get promoted in your career. There are too many possible outcomes for every action.
Life offers no guarantee. You would never know that you made a wrong decision until after the decision is made.
You may as well take the risk and decide what you want to do. It is much better than sitting on the fence and doing nothing.
This is not always the best idea.
Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life's crossroads:
1 - Get as much information as you can about your situation.
Learn the who, what, when, where and why of your situation. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this going? Why are you in this situation. All the latter points are important. Often,Learning from Successful People, the reason for indecision is the lake of information about the situation.
2 - Weigh the pro and cons of every option.
Examine the advantages and disadvantages of each decision you could make. In this way, you will get insights about the consequences of such an action on your part.
3 - Trust yourself and make the decision.
You have taken a good look at your options. It is now time to trust yourself. Remember there are no guarantees. Wrong decisions can be made. Still, make a choice, decide what you are going to do, and choose the best option for this point in time.
You have now made your decision. Face its consequences: good or bad. The important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander,First and foremost. Time will tell if you made the right decision. Do not regret your decision. Learn from it and remember you will have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
To receive more insightful Self Improvement Tips sign up now for William's FREE 12 email series of information articles at :
Monday, November 26, 2012
is also important. Most of the time
Use Your Imagination to Create the Self You Want
"Every prayer - every thought, every statement, every feeling -is creative,you can use thin shades that will soften it.. To the degree that it is fervently held as truth, to that degree will it be made manifest in your experience."
-Neale Donald Walsch
In your business and in your personal life, if your mind was a huge, blank sheet of paper, what would you fill the space with? Would you use it to create positive or negative thoughts?
Using your mind as a blank sheet of paper gives you the chance to create new goals, and to reach for new heights. A blank page gives you an important guide that pushes you toward self motivation and inspiration.
You can change your blank page at any time. Your God given imagination is there for your to use to create the business and personal life you want. You can create a new beginning,Goldmine to Success. It's your choice and not anyone else's,but once opened looks as if a Pendaflex bomb went off. Sure in theory you know where the files are. You can use it to erase any negative thoughts, feelings, or opinions.
When someone tells you you can't do something, can you separate the fact of their statement from their opinion,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots? Use your imagination to create a better, more useful outcome. Understanding that there is a great distinction between the two may decide your success or failure.
How valuable is their opinion? What is the truth behind the statement? Being able to determine the difference between facts and opinions when you hear them is important. Always consider the cost of having someone else's opinion prevent you from doing something that is not based on facts. Do the facts out-weigh the opinions? Or, are the opinions more important than your desire to be the self you want?
This is like knowing that just because it's raining outside, it doesn't have to be a bad day. One is fact; the other is an opinion. Use this guidance whenever you find yourself hesitating to make a decision in your business or in your personal life.
When someone gives you a negative opinion, you can accomplish more by not getting discouraged. Knowing that an opinion is nothing more than a comment of what, or how, a person feels and believes, is also important. Most of the time, it is not what they know to be true.
Where does imagination come from when you need it? Imagination plays a big part in creating your self-confidence. Try filling your mind with thoughts of not letting other people=s negative voices affect your self-confidence. Develop an attitude of not letting their negative opinions or actions destroy your self-esteem.
Another good defense mechanism would be to build up a series of little successes. Even small successes will build the confidence and self esteem that you need for bigger and better successes in your business and your personal life. Then you=re more armed to deflect the negative opinions that come your way.
Imagine yourself succeeding. With the little successes that you accomplish, remember to give yourself credit to feel good about them. Prepare your mind for the bigger successes. Then, build on the confidence and the strength that comes from succeeding.
Use your imagination to succeed and to create the self you want. After all, imagination is the power of the mind to form images - good, bad, or indifferent; positive, loving, or negative; funny, sad, or happy. Which ones do you choose?
###
"Every prayer - every thought, every statement, every feeling -is creative,you can use thin shades that will soften it.. To the degree that it is fervently held as truth, to that degree will it be made manifest in your experience."
-Neale Donald Walsch
In your business and in your personal life, if your mind was a huge, blank sheet of paper, what would you fill the space with? Would you use it to create positive or negative thoughts?
Using your mind as a blank sheet of paper gives you the chance to create new goals, and to reach for new heights. A blank page gives you an important guide that pushes you toward self motivation and inspiration.
You can change your blank page at any time. Your God given imagination is there for your to use to create the business and personal life you want. You can create a new beginning,Goldmine to Success. It's your choice and not anyone else's,but once opened looks as if a Pendaflex bomb went off. Sure in theory you know where the files are. You can use it to erase any negative thoughts, feelings, or opinions.
When someone tells you you can't do something, can you separate the fact of their statement from their opinion,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots? Use your imagination to create a better, more useful outcome. Understanding that there is a great distinction between the two may decide your success or failure.
How valuable is their opinion? What is the truth behind the statement? Being able to determine the difference between facts and opinions when you hear them is important. Always consider the cost of having someone else's opinion prevent you from doing something that is not based on facts. Do the facts out-weigh the opinions? Or, are the opinions more important than your desire to be the self you want?
This is like knowing that just because it's raining outside, it doesn't have to be a bad day. One is fact; the other is an opinion. Use this guidance whenever you find yourself hesitating to make a decision in your business or in your personal life.
When someone gives you a negative opinion, you can accomplish more by not getting discouraged. Knowing that an opinion is nothing more than a comment of what, or how, a person feels and believes, is also important. Most of the time, it is not what they know to be true.
Where does imagination come from when you need it? Imagination plays a big part in creating your self-confidence. Try filling your mind with thoughts of not letting other people=s negative voices affect your self-confidence. Develop an attitude of not letting their negative opinions or actions destroy your self-esteem.
Another good defense mechanism would be to build up a series of little successes. Even small successes will build the confidence and self esteem that you need for bigger and better successes in your business and your personal life. Then you=re more armed to deflect the negative opinions that come your way.
Imagine yourself succeeding. With the little successes that you accomplish, remember to give yourself credit to feel good about them. Prepare your mind for the bigger successes. Then, build on the confidence and the strength that comes from succeeding.
Use your imagination to succeed and to create the self you want. After all, imagination is the power of the mind to form images - good, bad, or indifferent; positive, loving, or negative; funny, sad, or happy. Which ones do you choose?
###
Friday, November 23, 2012
As the stroke of midnight heralds the end of another year
Do What You Say You Will Do
As the stroke of midnight heralds the end of another year, research suggests that along with the rest of us you will almost certainly resolve to do some things differently in the year ahead.
Chances are you will also decide to change things at other times too.
If your past record suggests you need to do something to tip the odds in favour of your success simply follow this 7 step programme for improved results.
1. Plan ahead and choose something that is really important to you," that can help you tap into the creative person that you are,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots,serious injury or legal problems., which really excites you when you think about it and is in your control. Describe and focus on the result you want to create not the work you need to do to get there.
2. Create a vivid picture in your mind, like a movie, of what it is going to be like when you accomplish your goal. Fill in as much of the detail as you can. Notice how you feel, what you look like, what you are doing, hear what you are saying about yourself, perhaps even what other people are saying about you too. Notice all the positive things you have that you don't have now. Work on this until you have created something that really excites you, step into your movie and live it in your mind at least once a day.
3. Create an action plan for getting there and follow through on it. Build it around taking small steps and not one big one. Plan it so that every day you do something, no matter how small, to engrain new habits and move closer to your goal. Commit your action plan to paper in as much detail as you can. Review this regularly to check you are taking the action you need to in order to achieve your goal. Update the plan when you notice new and even more exciting ways to get what you want.
4. Create the space or remove the temptation. If you are going to start doing something to achieve your goal be clear about how it will fit into everything else you are doing. If your plan involves stopping doing something remove all temptation and avoid the situations that would trigger of the thing you want to stop.
5. Enrol friends, family, a professional coach, help you develop a successful strategy, keep you focused, cheer you on, and achieve all you want and will enjoy having.
6. Track your progress and reward yourself regularly when you stick to your plan and pass key milestones.
7. Be kind on yourself and lighten up if it doesn't all go to plan all the time. That could happen and most often in the first 21 days. If it does happen, laugh, run your exciting mental movie, check your action plan and do something as soon as possible that will put you back on track,but important. Remember, you can shape your future in the decisions you make today.
Wishing you an outstandingly successful life.
Alistair Nee
Executive and personal development coach
As the stroke of midnight heralds the end of another year, research suggests that along with the rest of us you will almost certainly resolve to do some things differently in the year ahead.
Chances are you will also decide to change things at other times too.
If your past record suggests you need to do something to tip the odds in favour of your success simply follow this 7 step programme for improved results.
1. Plan ahead and choose something that is really important to you," that can help you tap into the creative person that you are,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots,serious injury or legal problems., which really excites you when you think about it and is in your control. Describe and focus on the result you want to create not the work you need to do to get there.
2. Create a vivid picture in your mind, like a movie, of what it is going to be like when you accomplish your goal. Fill in as much of the detail as you can. Notice how you feel, what you look like, what you are doing, hear what you are saying about yourself, perhaps even what other people are saying about you too. Notice all the positive things you have that you don't have now. Work on this until you have created something that really excites you, step into your movie and live it in your mind at least once a day.
3. Create an action plan for getting there and follow through on it. Build it around taking small steps and not one big one. Plan it so that every day you do something, no matter how small, to engrain new habits and move closer to your goal. Commit your action plan to paper in as much detail as you can. Review this regularly to check you are taking the action you need to in order to achieve your goal. Update the plan when you notice new and even more exciting ways to get what you want.
4. Create the space or remove the temptation. If you are going to start doing something to achieve your goal be clear about how it will fit into everything else you are doing. If your plan involves stopping doing something remove all temptation and avoid the situations that would trigger of the thing you want to stop.
5. Enrol friends, family, a professional coach, help you develop a successful strategy, keep you focused, cheer you on, and achieve all you want and will enjoy having.
6. Track your progress and reward yourself regularly when you stick to your plan and pass key milestones.
7. Be kind on yourself and lighten up if it doesn't all go to plan all the time. That could happen and most often in the first 21 days. If it does happen, laugh, run your exciting mental movie, check your action plan and do something as soon as possible that will put you back on track,but important. Remember, you can shape your future in the decisions you make today.
Wishing you an outstandingly successful life.
Alistair Nee
Executive and personal development coach
Thursday, November 22, 2012
on the other hand
How to Achive and Maintain a Healthy, Sexy Body
In a world where slim, slender, and sexy are the standards of the society,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, obesity has no place. From television programs, commercials, and product advertisements to magazine features, billboards, and internet pop-ups, you won't be able to find men unpacked with biceps, triceps, and abdominal muscles nor women with vital statistics other than 36-24-36.
How strange society can be! It dictates what is wrong and what is right, what is proper and what is not that if you feel you don't belong to the "in" crowd, how sad and low can you be? People judge other people with no reasonable bases making the discriminated ones feel left out and unwanted,while many would receive their degrees.
As sensitive people who belong to such unfriendly societies, we get affected by cold treatments and pathetic stares. But we can't let anybody make us feel inferior to them anytime. We were all created equal. Thus, we deserve to be feeling what they are feeling, to be doing what they are doing, and to be living how they are living in this strange world.
But reality check: how can we feel, do, and live the way other people do if there really is something that hinders us?
I used to be fat myself when I was young. Somehow, I felt inferior and caused me to envy a lot of people. I started wondering, why can't my crush notice me? Or why can't I join popularity contests? Is it really because of my physical attributes, particularly my body weight and figure? It's sad to see that my slim friends and classmates got to have whatever they like while I couldn't. Indeed, it was because I was fat, and they are not,loving kindness.. Even though the effects of my disorder was purely psychological and didn't bring any other biological problems, still it was unhappy and unhealthy.
As time passed by, I realized that I don't want to be left out. Instead, I want to be noticed and recognized. I want to feel happy, healthy, and satisfied. Thus, I made an effort to lose weight and get rid of excess fats in my body. Thankfully, with an ounce of willingness, a cup of patience, and a spoon of determination, I was able to achieve what once was only a dream. Such comments like "You look slimmer," or "Have you lost weight? Tell me your secret," was really music to my ears.
I have traveled the path of overweight and unhappiness in a single journey; it wasn't really a smooth ride a trip not worth remembering. But, on the other hand, without that experience, I wouldn't have been in my position now happy and contented, the real richness in the world.
I have used self-hypnosis to make sure my mind reinforced what my body needed to do. It was really amazing setting up my mind to 'control' what I wanted to achieve. I understood the importance of setting realisable and achieveable goals, and then by a simple process of repetition, programmed muy mind to anticipate success - and it worked.
Thus, if I can do it, so can you. I don't want any other people to feel what I felt before unwanted, alone, and taken for granted. Or worse, might even suffer from complications and other illnesses. Being fat, overweight, or obese is unhealthy, both in the mind and in the body. We know it. We've been there, right? Now, come with me to a journey where we can change not only our body size, weight, and figure, but our lives as well,symbolic mind. There's nothing more wonderful than being able to do what you want to do or to go where you'd like you go. That is real happiness and contentment. And like me, you too can achieve it.
In a world where slim, slender, and sexy are the standards of the society, obesity has to go. So, let's go terminate it!
In a world where slim, slender, and sexy are the standards of the society,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, obesity has no place. From television programs, commercials, and product advertisements to magazine features, billboards, and internet pop-ups, you won't be able to find men unpacked with biceps, triceps, and abdominal muscles nor women with vital statistics other than 36-24-36.
How strange society can be! It dictates what is wrong and what is right, what is proper and what is not that if you feel you don't belong to the "in" crowd, how sad and low can you be? People judge other people with no reasonable bases making the discriminated ones feel left out and unwanted,while many would receive their degrees.
As sensitive people who belong to such unfriendly societies, we get affected by cold treatments and pathetic stares. But we can't let anybody make us feel inferior to them anytime. We were all created equal. Thus, we deserve to be feeling what they are feeling, to be doing what they are doing, and to be living how they are living in this strange world.
But reality check: how can we feel, do, and live the way other people do if there really is something that hinders us?
I used to be fat myself when I was young. Somehow, I felt inferior and caused me to envy a lot of people. I started wondering, why can't my crush notice me? Or why can't I join popularity contests? Is it really because of my physical attributes, particularly my body weight and figure? It's sad to see that my slim friends and classmates got to have whatever they like while I couldn't. Indeed, it was because I was fat, and they are not,loving kindness.. Even though the effects of my disorder was purely psychological and didn't bring any other biological problems, still it was unhappy and unhealthy.
As time passed by, I realized that I don't want to be left out. Instead, I want to be noticed and recognized. I want to feel happy, healthy, and satisfied. Thus, I made an effort to lose weight and get rid of excess fats in my body. Thankfully, with an ounce of willingness, a cup of patience, and a spoon of determination, I was able to achieve what once was only a dream. Such comments like "You look slimmer," or "Have you lost weight? Tell me your secret," was really music to my ears.
I have traveled the path of overweight and unhappiness in a single journey; it wasn't really a smooth ride a trip not worth remembering. But, on the other hand, without that experience, I wouldn't have been in my position now happy and contented, the real richness in the world.
I have used self-hypnosis to make sure my mind reinforced what my body needed to do. It was really amazing setting up my mind to 'control' what I wanted to achieve. I understood the importance of setting realisable and achieveable goals, and then by a simple process of repetition, programmed muy mind to anticipate success - and it worked.
Thus, if I can do it, so can you. I don't want any other people to feel what I felt before unwanted, alone, and taken for granted. Or worse, might even suffer from complications and other illnesses. Being fat, overweight, or obese is unhealthy, both in the mind and in the body. We know it. We've been there, right? Now, come with me to a journey where we can change not only our body size, weight, and figure, but our lives as well,symbolic mind. There's nothing more wonderful than being able to do what you want to do or to go where you'd like you go. That is real happiness and contentment. And like me, you too can achieve it.
In a world where slim, slender, and sexy are the standards of the society, obesity has to go. So, let's go terminate it!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
because I'm going to trust my intuition
How Do I Get There?
The question was originally asked in reference to having a spiritual calling and not knowing how to get to the point where you're actually serving humanity. It's no different if you are an entrepreneur with an internal calling to successfully run your own company,"Power vs. Force, a musician with a calling to perform on stage for large audiences, or a writer with a calling to see their books published. It's really all the same. If you have a vision in your mind's eye of yourself happy and successful while performing your daily work, then you have to figure out how to get there from where you are today. There are basically three approaches that you can choose from.
The first one is to just do whatever feels right at the time. This is can involve intuition, divine guidance, or some form of following the end of your nose. Logically, this approach should have you wandering in circles, not really getting anywhere, or at best arriving after a long indirect journey. Most of the time, this method won't get you anywhere but back where you started with a lot of stories to tell. The ironic thing is, that there are folks out there who have amazing success with this approach. It's almost as if a little bird is on their shoulder whispering in their ear and pointing the way. In all honesty, I cannot tell you not to use this method if it's what works best for you.
The second approach is the classic goal setting concept taught by many coaches. Research like crazy what the normal logical steps from Point A to Point Z are. Find out exactly how long it will take to achieve each and every step along the way. Then figure out your own personal time line incorporating your family obligations, personal level of motivation, and any other dynamics that might effect your ability to accomplish the goal. Then you plot out a very carefully laid out plan of step by step mini-goals to accomplish in order until you arrive at the desired destination. Not very exciting but it has a really high success rate. People who can do their homework and really follow a plan every step of the way have a fairly high chance of succeeding. However, I've also seen folks who use this method and never get anywhere. Their well laid out plans keep getting sidetracked or they keep hitting these mystery walls that keep them from moving forward.
The third method is a reverse of the second method. You look at folks who are already successfully at Point Z and visualize how your personal Point Y looks just before you step into Point Z. Then you visualize yourself successfully doing Point Y and how you got there from Point X. Then you visualize yourself successfully doing Point X and how you got there from Point W and so on and so on. It's something like reverse engineering. The idea is that you still end up with a well thought out plan of steps to take but they are visualized as to how you personally would most likely have arrived at that final destination. I have only recently heard of this approach and don't know what kind of success rate it has, but it makes some sense to me. I suspect that it could work fairly well for people who are into positive affirmations and using positive visualizing as a form of motivation.
Personally,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, I use a bit of all three blended together. For example, let's say that I see myself as a dynamic witty guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show. I would take time to imagine how that came to be How did she come to get my books in her hands so that she could fall in love with them? and go backwards from there. At the same time,Who’s Directing Your Life, I research everything I can get my hands on about my industry and have a rough outline of the step by step plan from where I am now to where I'm going. I don't write it in ink though. I pencil in my goals, but am open to the spirits, intuition, and whim of the day that may send me down a trail that will get me closer to the end goal. I may decide that I'm going to go from Point A to Point B and then skip Points C and D because according to my research they are not all that helpful. From there I'm going to Point E and then jumping over to L,"I want to lose weight.". How I get there isn't quite known yet, because I'm going to trust my intuition, happenstance, and those little voices in my head to guide me. I also leave it open for complete changes in direction. Nothing is ever really written in stone.
I spent years beating myself up for taking so long to get to my spiritual calling. I have not accomplished all that I set out to do nor have I accomplished all that the spirits have asked me to do. I haven't even come close to the visions they originally showed me of my future, but I am definitely on the right track and am enjoying the journey without guilt over timelines. That would be the most important thing I could tell you. Enjoy the journey from Point A to Point Z for in the journey is the life stories. How would life be if we could simply snapped our fingers and poof we were suddenly transformed into whoever or whatever we wanted to be without the lessons and the wisdom gained from the journey?
Yes, we should love the goals we are working towards, and the blessings we will receive for accomplishing them. Love of our dreams gives us the motivation to work through the many many steps involved in achieving them. Life should be a series of wonderful adventures we experience on the way to achieving our goals.
Copyright 2006, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
The question was originally asked in reference to having a spiritual calling and not knowing how to get to the point where you're actually serving humanity. It's no different if you are an entrepreneur with an internal calling to successfully run your own company,"Power vs. Force, a musician with a calling to perform on stage for large audiences, or a writer with a calling to see their books published. It's really all the same. If you have a vision in your mind's eye of yourself happy and successful while performing your daily work, then you have to figure out how to get there from where you are today. There are basically three approaches that you can choose from.
The first one is to just do whatever feels right at the time. This is can involve intuition, divine guidance, or some form of following the end of your nose. Logically, this approach should have you wandering in circles, not really getting anywhere, or at best arriving after a long indirect journey. Most of the time, this method won't get you anywhere but back where you started with a lot of stories to tell. The ironic thing is, that there are folks out there who have amazing success with this approach. It's almost as if a little bird is on their shoulder whispering in their ear and pointing the way. In all honesty, I cannot tell you not to use this method if it's what works best for you.
The second approach is the classic goal setting concept taught by many coaches. Research like crazy what the normal logical steps from Point A to Point Z are. Find out exactly how long it will take to achieve each and every step along the way. Then figure out your own personal time line incorporating your family obligations, personal level of motivation, and any other dynamics that might effect your ability to accomplish the goal. Then you plot out a very carefully laid out plan of step by step mini-goals to accomplish in order until you arrive at the desired destination. Not very exciting but it has a really high success rate. People who can do their homework and really follow a plan every step of the way have a fairly high chance of succeeding. However, I've also seen folks who use this method and never get anywhere. Their well laid out plans keep getting sidetracked or they keep hitting these mystery walls that keep them from moving forward.
The third method is a reverse of the second method. You look at folks who are already successfully at Point Z and visualize how your personal Point Y looks just before you step into Point Z. Then you visualize yourself successfully doing Point Y and how you got there from Point X. Then you visualize yourself successfully doing Point X and how you got there from Point W and so on and so on. It's something like reverse engineering. The idea is that you still end up with a well thought out plan of steps to take but they are visualized as to how you personally would most likely have arrived at that final destination. I have only recently heard of this approach and don't know what kind of success rate it has, but it makes some sense to me. I suspect that it could work fairly well for people who are into positive affirmations and using positive visualizing as a form of motivation.
Personally,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, I use a bit of all three blended together. For example, let's say that I see myself as a dynamic witty guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show. I would take time to imagine how that came to be How did she come to get my books in her hands so that she could fall in love with them? and go backwards from there. At the same time,Who’s Directing Your Life, I research everything I can get my hands on about my industry and have a rough outline of the step by step plan from where I am now to where I'm going. I don't write it in ink though. I pencil in my goals, but am open to the spirits, intuition, and whim of the day that may send me down a trail that will get me closer to the end goal. I may decide that I'm going to go from Point A to Point B and then skip Points C and D because according to my research they are not all that helpful. From there I'm going to Point E and then jumping over to L,"I want to lose weight.". How I get there isn't quite known yet, because I'm going to trust my intuition, happenstance, and those little voices in my head to guide me. I also leave it open for complete changes in direction. Nothing is ever really written in stone.
I spent years beating myself up for taking so long to get to my spiritual calling. I have not accomplished all that I set out to do nor have I accomplished all that the spirits have asked me to do. I haven't even come close to the visions they originally showed me of my future, but I am definitely on the right track and am enjoying the journey without guilt over timelines. That would be the most important thing I could tell you. Enjoy the journey from Point A to Point Z for in the journey is the life stories. How would life be if we could simply snapped our fingers and poof we were suddenly transformed into whoever or whatever we wanted to be without the lessons and the wisdom gained from the journey?
Yes, we should love the goals we are working towards, and the blessings we will receive for accomplishing them. Love of our dreams gives us the motivation to work through the many many steps involved in achieving them. Life should be a series of wonderful adventures we experience on the way to achieving our goals.
Copyright 2006, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Now you may think you are a very confident type
Sub
Most of us fail to even realize that they have stuck energy or attachment in early experiences. Negative emotion, be it pervading or mild, feels bad and most of us simply figure out how to disregard it, live with it, or project it further into the unconscious,... but it worked. Not only did I find creative solutions for my paintings. We tend to not completely deal with traumatizing emotional experiences.
You've heard the term "emotional baggage." Many of us walk around with old, unfinished, painful, intense emotions consistently held in a place in our minds. These things are a pattern of energy that occasionally turns into physical problems which eventually can become chronic pain, and eventually (unless balanced) into disease. If you need the support of a Law of Attraction Coach,mentally or emotionally. Unfortunately, by all means get support! Having an independent listener to talk to can help you move off outdated patterns much more quickly.
I wanted to put down this groundwork for what resides underneath the current of feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, and lack of complete acceptance of who you are and self-love. These are biggies for many of us. But, things can change quickly if you are willing to do a bit of work.
When you have an energy pattern that is running you (consciously or unconsciously) there exists an energy signature, a vibration that continually transmits to the Universe... I'm not good enough, lovable enough, skinny, rich, pretty, smart enough or whatever. Empowering yourself with the Law of Attraction is amazingly helpful for Relationship Attraction,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, and is not difficult to understand.
Now you may think you are a very confident type, I know I thought so. But, if you are looking around and you're consistently not getting that which you desire, take it from me, there is a block locked in your beliefs in your worthiness to receive what you desire!
Did you know that who you are is remarkably loving, kind, worthy, beautiful and perfect? You ARE love. You were brought from love and you'll eventually return to love. That's the truth of who you are. We're all that.
Let's go back to this discussion about selfishness, self-care, self-esteem, and accepting of yourself. Let's merge the disparity between these ideas and make a little sense of this.
First off, you can only look at the world from a perspective that is self-centered. You have to perceive your world from your self-centered viewpoint. We have been taught to believe that it is not right to keep a viewpoint that is grounded in the Self. I'm not going to point fingers at the controlling agents of our culture and religions, who think it is best to maintain power over a group by threatening eternal suffering if they did not comply with their ideals. It's all a piece of the game we are here to play. You can manifest your own Law of Attraction Relationships today and sky-rocket your level of creative energy!
The dictionary defines selfish as being out for yourself, being self-interested, self-seeking, egocentric, ungenerous, and caught up in oneself,and united the two powers will amplify the magnitude of one's desire..
I say that unless you fill yourself up with self-love, kindness, and goodness, what you will be able to give will appear more like a drain than a generous giving.
Most of us fail to even realize that they have stuck energy or attachment in early experiences. Negative emotion, be it pervading or mild, feels bad and most of us simply figure out how to disregard it, live with it, or project it further into the unconscious,... but it worked. Not only did I find creative solutions for my paintings. We tend to not completely deal with traumatizing emotional experiences.
You've heard the term "emotional baggage." Many of us walk around with old, unfinished, painful, intense emotions consistently held in a place in our minds. These things are a pattern of energy that occasionally turns into physical problems which eventually can become chronic pain, and eventually (unless balanced) into disease. If you need the support of a Law of Attraction Coach,mentally or emotionally. Unfortunately, by all means get support! Having an independent listener to talk to can help you move off outdated patterns much more quickly.
I wanted to put down this groundwork for what resides underneath the current of feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, and lack of complete acceptance of who you are and self-love. These are biggies for many of us. But, things can change quickly if you are willing to do a bit of work.
When you have an energy pattern that is running you (consciously or unconsciously) there exists an energy signature, a vibration that continually transmits to the Universe... I'm not good enough, lovable enough, skinny, rich, pretty, smart enough or whatever. Empowering yourself with the Law of Attraction is amazingly helpful for Relationship Attraction,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, and is not difficult to understand.
Now you may think you are a very confident type, I know I thought so. But, if you are looking around and you're consistently not getting that which you desire, take it from me, there is a block locked in your beliefs in your worthiness to receive what you desire!
Did you know that who you are is remarkably loving, kind, worthy, beautiful and perfect? You ARE love. You were brought from love and you'll eventually return to love. That's the truth of who you are. We're all that.
Let's go back to this discussion about selfishness, self-care, self-esteem, and accepting of yourself. Let's merge the disparity between these ideas and make a little sense of this.
First off, you can only look at the world from a perspective that is self-centered. You have to perceive your world from your self-centered viewpoint. We have been taught to believe that it is not right to keep a viewpoint that is grounded in the Self. I'm not going to point fingers at the controlling agents of our culture and religions, who think it is best to maintain power over a group by threatening eternal suffering if they did not comply with their ideals. It's all a piece of the game we are here to play. You can manifest your own Law of Attraction Relationships today and sky-rocket your level of creative energy!
The dictionary defines selfish as being out for yourself, being self-interested, self-seeking, egocentric, ungenerous, and caught up in oneself,and united the two powers will amplify the magnitude of one's desire..
I say that unless you fill yourself up with self-love, kindness, and goodness, what you will be able to give will appear more like a drain than a generous giving.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
business
The Many Faces of Multiculturalism
In this day and age, it is very common to see people from different cultural heritages living together in a single bounded territory. Since they live together, they happen to engage, collectively - either in a planned fashion or instinctively - in all kinds of activities in the social, economic, religious, educational, political, and economic domains. Principal cities in the world are more and more becoming multicultural, or most have already become. The plurality of cultures that portray multiculturalism is, indeed, great for the understanding of all shades of people. Go to any multicultural city, and you will see that the marked physiological differences among many a people, while they point to historically different cultural backgrounds, are also a mark of togetherness in many regions of life. Perhaps, the greatest advantage of multiculturalism is that it bridges the chasm of ignorance and arrogance. Let me further make clear this point.
I belong to culture y, and you belong to culture x. You are placed in an entirely different society from mine such that we do not have any direct or face-to-face interaction. I have read - and keep reading that in your culture you eat with your hands, you have very minimal technology but much more contact with nature. Mine is directly opposite to yours because we eat with forks, spoons and knives. We are technologically advanced and use all sorts of electronic gadgets. I think apart from my belief that I am more physiologically refined, I also have a sophisticated lifestyle corroborated by the modern, imposing buildings that spread out in my society as well as state-of-the-art cars, information technology, and allied things. Since I have not met any of your kind before nor associated with any of you before, nor most importantly interacted with you before, I infer that my culture is superior compared to yours. I have closed my mind on this case, and I am not prepared to engage even in the least dialogue that could possibly reverse my opinions. Most people in my culture think in like manner about culture x, for the constant barrage of selective news that they view, listen to, or read within the environment of culture y have solidified their opinions,craving something more. In response to the ache. Above all, I have concluded that culture x is drenched in backwardness while mine is riding on the pinnacle of progress and splendid classiness.
But am I right in so thinking about culture x? Is not the close contact between the people of culture x and nature praiseworthy in so far as it leads to environmental sanity and green-ness so much prized by environmentalists? Is not the continuous exploitation of nature to satisfy the requirements of unrestrained technology in culture y confront nature in some kind of conflict that eventually destabilizes cosmic unity and promotes nature's wrath? Have not the people of culture x shunned the dangers of pollution on human life by retaining the naturalness of the environment? Do I really have the foresight in grasping the ins and outs of the relationship between humans and nature?
These obvious weaknesses about culture y do not rule out the immense benefits that it has in the areas of science and technology; for the enlargement of population cannot be sustained without creating viable means to enhance life via, in particular, science and technology. I am saying that both x and y can learn some important things from each other that could make healthier their respective cultures. In any case, as a member of culture y, I have exposed my ignorance and, of course, my arrogance too about the beneficial outcomes in a diametrically opposed culture, that is culture x; and I have driven further away the possibility of seeking to learn from dissimilar cultures, which could enrich my knowledge and wisdom about human kinds. I have, in other words, erected an impenetrable curtain that prevents me from seeing the other side of the world full of other fruitful cultures and some high-quality values,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
Suppose I see your kind, say a man from culture x, for the first time, then I'm likely to show my pomposity and think I am better than your kind. Nevertheless, it is not only my looking down upon culture x that is the issue. The ignorance that arises from my viewpoint and the viewpoint of most members of my culture also generates discrimination. Assume, further, that the physiological differences between members of my culture and members of culture x - as I have seen many a time in the media - are marked, then I am inclined to be a racist, either by choice or by the nature of circumstances. And these are some of the major difficulties that societies other than multicultural societies bestow on lives.
Having said the above, I am not, in any way, claiming that multicultural societies are not fraught with difficulties. What is good about multicultural societies is that the above-stated problems tend to dissipate or diminish with the progress of time in view of the collective activities and willpower of all shades of people. Even so, there are vital areas of life in multicultural societies that seem to contradict the advantages I have outlined.
The entire edifice of multiculturalism wobbles when one seeks to address important questions in the areas, for example, of the laws and mores that shape multiculturalism. Ask: whose laws are they? And whose mores are they? It is true to say that multiculturalism is a fairly recent phenomenon, and since this is the case, whatever constituted the society prior to multiculturalism lacked, by the anticipated logic, laws and mores with the multicultural tinge. The consistent and progressive replacement of the original culture with a multicultural culture, owing to the massive flow of immigrants, may lead to the revision of original laws and mores; they prompt high-level stakeholders - policy makers, so to speak - to reexamine the held laws and mores without uprooting, for better or for worse, the bedrock culture. A multicultural society has to deal with the troubling issue of compromising its bedrock culture with a new culture, and the compromise becomes extremely difficult the more multicultural groups press for the restructuring of the previous culture in order to drastically reshape especially - the economic, political, and educational systems of the society.
Suppose policy makers agree to the demands of immigrant pressure groups - that because the society has changed to possess a multicultural face, everything else should change, everything from business to politics to laws to mores to education - then the question of which immigrant group or groups' demands should be incorporated into new policy decisions becomes the emerging desideratum. Logically, it is almost not feasible to implement such demands, nor is it, at first impression, practically expedient; for concessions to one immigrant group or some will engender persistent demands from disgruntled groups, and policy makers will then have to address new problems that were previously unforeseeable, or, at the very least, trivial. Lovers of a revolution or reasonable anarchists may support the uprooting of the dominant culture. Whether, therefore, a multicultural society slots in other multicultural values or not into the dominate laws and mores, difficulties arise in addressing the concerns of all immigrant groups to ensure harmony in all the conceivable areas of life. To insist that members of subcultures have to fully adapt to the values of the dominant culture presupposes that plurality of cultures are irrelevant in the field of cultural truths. This is palpably wrong given that truths in culture are tied to values in culture; and values differ in any number of ways.
Perhaps, there has to be some kind of balance between the needs of all immigrant groups and the customary needs of the society prior to multiculturalism. Indeed, the more the restructuring of previous needs are made to reflect, as widely as possible, on all multicultural groups without endangering the stabilized identity of the society, the better. Yes, subcultures exhibit living experiences that cannot be relinquished in favour of the dominant legal and moral acts of their "new" society; but varied social values have some reconcilable traits that are capable of being reshaped or connected to generate a striking uniformity,reliable alternative is needed.. This is the area of human experiences that need to be explored and utilized to streamline the wishy-washy edges of multiculturalism. And this does not presume objective truths in culture but human conformity.
Consider the issue of education. It is, perhaps, the most sensitive area of multiculturalism. If members of subcultures are formally educated in a way that marginalizes their respective principles of life, then this is likely to spawn some kind of inferiority among most of its members, and, of course, frustration. Patterns of belief are largely shaped by the dominant educational system in place. Parental education inculcates unique values in children. Children's search for additional values is largely directed by acquired family values. But parental education does not proceed in isolation; it is wedded to the overall value system that shapes the entire society. Here, educational values play a major role. Am I, the son of an immigrant hence belonging to a subculture - expected to abandon my fundamental values in place of the values of the dominant culture? Since I am a student in my new cultural environment, what role can the school education play in amplifying and solidifying my family values? Does the school system incorporate a study of the accomplishments of leaders from my subculture?
Often, the leaders that students are likely to study and idolize in the classroom come largely from the dominant culture. Is it any wonder, then, that sub-culture students feel inherently humiliated while dominant-culture students get elevated with regard to their respective egos? The question of appropriate assertiveness, confidence, effective body-language skills, among others, that are essential job needs stem largely from this educational panorama. Put differently, dominant-culture students experience a continuous reinforcement of self-esteem unlike sub-culture students. However, exceptions are granted.
School people or analysts who tend to explicate any outstanding dissimilarity between subculture students and their counterparts in terms of levels of structured intelligence will do well to take account of the historical foundations of school curricula and their impact on academic performance. Intelligence, in whichever form this very broad term is viewed, is not culture neutral but tailored to meet the fashioned requirements of the dominant culture. The dominant curricula in school replicate the dominant culture, not subcultures. Subculture students who follow such curricula are trapped in helpless contradictions unless they choose to be fully integrated into the dominant culture. Their thinking and dispositional attitudes proceed as a constant battle, explicit or implied, between the value system of the dominant culture and those of subcultures.
Besides these complex problems, the population of the dominant culture vis-Ã -vis the subculture tends to diminish in size. Naturally, authorities at high places (from the dominant culture) may use every means necessary to protect their numbers. A common technique may be to clandestinely reserve top-notch jobs for members of its class. What this does is to retain the power dynamics, prevent the subculture population from overshadowing the dominant culture, and, of course, make room to use power as a tool to suppress the agitations of members of the subculture. Employment discrimination, subtle racism, among others, may crop up from this state of affairs. Thus, while many areas of human nature are similar, other areas resist logic in line with humans' need to crave for power whenever the object is to promote security in life.
If multiculturalism is unable to undo a dominant culture and give equal credibility to all subcultures, it shows how the principles of multiculturalism stand in need of outright revision in order to cater for the varied forms of social consciousness and value systems.
Multiculturalism is a welcome addition to human dignity. It fosters a better understanding of human kinds. It disintegrates ignorance and distrust between or among human kinds. It builds the edifice of culture on a new ground full of vitality. It supplants the rather dry uniformity of non-multicultural societies. It warns or forbids ignoramuses from being openly discriminatory or racists. It advances the principle that race consciousness may be irrelevant, especially in the light of a global village. It, above all, helps to build international relations in a pleasing direction,It's like opening the door that seems too heavy for you to open it alone..
Maybe, a bold social experiment that uproots the dominant culture in favour of the principle: "let us build everything afresh!" could engender an encouraging synthesis of laws, mores, education, business, and the rest. This unusual experiment, this untested undeavour, this revolutionary activity, may be far more a blessing than a curse. Maybe, it is time to undertake such an experiment.
In this day and age, it is very common to see people from different cultural heritages living together in a single bounded territory. Since they live together, they happen to engage, collectively - either in a planned fashion or instinctively - in all kinds of activities in the social, economic, religious, educational, political, and economic domains. Principal cities in the world are more and more becoming multicultural, or most have already become. The plurality of cultures that portray multiculturalism is, indeed, great for the understanding of all shades of people. Go to any multicultural city, and you will see that the marked physiological differences among many a people, while they point to historically different cultural backgrounds, are also a mark of togetherness in many regions of life. Perhaps, the greatest advantage of multiculturalism is that it bridges the chasm of ignorance and arrogance. Let me further make clear this point.
I belong to culture y, and you belong to culture x. You are placed in an entirely different society from mine such that we do not have any direct or face-to-face interaction. I have read - and keep reading that in your culture you eat with your hands, you have very minimal technology but much more contact with nature. Mine is directly opposite to yours because we eat with forks, spoons and knives. We are technologically advanced and use all sorts of electronic gadgets. I think apart from my belief that I am more physiologically refined, I also have a sophisticated lifestyle corroborated by the modern, imposing buildings that spread out in my society as well as state-of-the-art cars, information technology, and allied things. Since I have not met any of your kind before nor associated with any of you before, nor most importantly interacted with you before, I infer that my culture is superior compared to yours. I have closed my mind on this case, and I am not prepared to engage even in the least dialogue that could possibly reverse my opinions. Most people in my culture think in like manner about culture x, for the constant barrage of selective news that they view, listen to, or read within the environment of culture y have solidified their opinions,craving something more. In response to the ache. Above all, I have concluded that culture x is drenched in backwardness while mine is riding on the pinnacle of progress and splendid classiness.
But am I right in so thinking about culture x? Is not the close contact between the people of culture x and nature praiseworthy in so far as it leads to environmental sanity and green-ness so much prized by environmentalists? Is not the continuous exploitation of nature to satisfy the requirements of unrestrained technology in culture y confront nature in some kind of conflict that eventually destabilizes cosmic unity and promotes nature's wrath? Have not the people of culture x shunned the dangers of pollution on human life by retaining the naturalness of the environment? Do I really have the foresight in grasping the ins and outs of the relationship between humans and nature?
These obvious weaknesses about culture y do not rule out the immense benefits that it has in the areas of science and technology; for the enlargement of population cannot be sustained without creating viable means to enhance life via, in particular, science and technology. I am saying that both x and y can learn some important things from each other that could make healthier their respective cultures. In any case, as a member of culture y, I have exposed my ignorance and, of course, my arrogance too about the beneficial outcomes in a diametrically opposed culture, that is culture x; and I have driven further away the possibility of seeking to learn from dissimilar cultures, which could enrich my knowledge and wisdom about human kinds. I have, in other words, erected an impenetrable curtain that prevents me from seeing the other side of the world full of other fruitful cultures and some high-quality values,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots.
Suppose I see your kind, say a man from culture x, for the first time, then I'm likely to show my pomposity and think I am better than your kind. Nevertheless, it is not only my looking down upon culture x that is the issue. The ignorance that arises from my viewpoint and the viewpoint of most members of my culture also generates discrimination. Assume, further, that the physiological differences between members of my culture and members of culture x - as I have seen many a time in the media - are marked, then I am inclined to be a racist, either by choice or by the nature of circumstances. And these are some of the major difficulties that societies other than multicultural societies bestow on lives.
Having said the above, I am not, in any way, claiming that multicultural societies are not fraught with difficulties. What is good about multicultural societies is that the above-stated problems tend to dissipate or diminish with the progress of time in view of the collective activities and willpower of all shades of people. Even so, there are vital areas of life in multicultural societies that seem to contradict the advantages I have outlined.
The entire edifice of multiculturalism wobbles when one seeks to address important questions in the areas, for example, of the laws and mores that shape multiculturalism. Ask: whose laws are they? And whose mores are they? It is true to say that multiculturalism is a fairly recent phenomenon, and since this is the case, whatever constituted the society prior to multiculturalism lacked, by the anticipated logic, laws and mores with the multicultural tinge. The consistent and progressive replacement of the original culture with a multicultural culture, owing to the massive flow of immigrants, may lead to the revision of original laws and mores; they prompt high-level stakeholders - policy makers, so to speak - to reexamine the held laws and mores without uprooting, for better or for worse, the bedrock culture. A multicultural society has to deal with the troubling issue of compromising its bedrock culture with a new culture, and the compromise becomes extremely difficult the more multicultural groups press for the restructuring of the previous culture in order to drastically reshape especially - the economic, political, and educational systems of the society.
Suppose policy makers agree to the demands of immigrant pressure groups - that because the society has changed to possess a multicultural face, everything else should change, everything from business to politics to laws to mores to education - then the question of which immigrant group or groups' demands should be incorporated into new policy decisions becomes the emerging desideratum. Logically, it is almost not feasible to implement such demands, nor is it, at first impression, practically expedient; for concessions to one immigrant group or some will engender persistent demands from disgruntled groups, and policy makers will then have to address new problems that were previously unforeseeable, or, at the very least, trivial. Lovers of a revolution or reasonable anarchists may support the uprooting of the dominant culture. Whether, therefore, a multicultural society slots in other multicultural values or not into the dominate laws and mores, difficulties arise in addressing the concerns of all immigrant groups to ensure harmony in all the conceivable areas of life. To insist that members of subcultures have to fully adapt to the values of the dominant culture presupposes that plurality of cultures are irrelevant in the field of cultural truths. This is palpably wrong given that truths in culture are tied to values in culture; and values differ in any number of ways.
Perhaps, there has to be some kind of balance between the needs of all immigrant groups and the customary needs of the society prior to multiculturalism. Indeed, the more the restructuring of previous needs are made to reflect, as widely as possible, on all multicultural groups without endangering the stabilized identity of the society, the better. Yes, subcultures exhibit living experiences that cannot be relinquished in favour of the dominant legal and moral acts of their "new" society; but varied social values have some reconcilable traits that are capable of being reshaped or connected to generate a striking uniformity,reliable alternative is needed.. This is the area of human experiences that need to be explored and utilized to streamline the wishy-washy edges of multiculturalism. And this does not presume objective truths in culture but human conformity.
Consider the issue of education. It is, perhaps, the most sensitive area of multiculturalism. If members of subcultures are formally educated in a way that marginalizes their respective principles of life, then this is likely to spawn some kind of inferiority among most of its members, and, of course, frustration. Patterns of belief are largely shaped by the dominant educational system in place. Parental education inculcates unique values in children. Children's search for additional values is largely directed by acquired family values. But parental education does not proceed in isolation; it is wedded to the overall value system that shapes the entire society. Here, educational values play a major role. Am I, the son of an immigrant hence belonging to a subculture - expected to abandon my fundamental values in place of the values of the dominant culture? Since I am a student in my new cultural environment, what role can the school education play in amplifying and solidifying my family values? Does the school system incorporate a study of the accomplishments of leaders from my subculture?
Often, the leaders that students are likely to study and idolize in the classroom come largely from the dominant culture. Is it any wonder, then, that sub-culture students feel inherently humiliated while dominant-culture students get elevated with regard to their respective egos? The question of appropriate assertiveness, confidence, effective body-language skills, among others, that are essential job needs stem largely from this educational panorama. Put differently, dominant-culture students experience a continuous reinforcement of self-esteem unlike sub-culture students. However, exceptions are granted.
School people or analysts who tend to explicate any outstanding dissimilarity between subculture students and their counterparts in terms of levels of structured intelligence will do well to take account of the historical foundations of school curricula and their impact on academic performance. Intelligence, in whichever form this very broad term is viewed, is not culture neutral but tailored to meet the fashioned requirements of the dominant culture. The dominant curricula in school replicate the dominant culture, not subcultures. Subculture students who follow such curricula are trapped in helpless contradictions unless they choose to be fully integrated into the dominant culture. Their thinking and dispositional attitudes proceed as a constant battle, explicit or implied, between the value system of the dominant culture and those of subcultures.
Besides these complex problems, the population of the dominant culture vis-Ã -vis the subculture tends to diminish in size. Naturally, authorities at high places (from the dominant culture) may use every means necessary to protect their numbers. A common technique may be to clandestinely reserve top-notch jobs for members of its class. What this does is to retain the power dynamics, prevent the subculture population from overshadowing the dominant culture, and, of course, make room to use power as a tool to suppress the agitations of members of the subculture. Employment discrimination, subtle racism, among others, may crop up from this state of affairs. Thus, while many areas of human nature are similar, other areas resist logic in line with humans' need to crave for power whenever the object is to promote security in life.
If multiculturalism is unable to undo a dominant culture and give equal credibility to all subcultures, it shows how the principles of multiculturalism stand in need of outright revision in order to cater for the varied forms of social consciousness and value systems.
Multiculturalism is a welcome addition to human dignity. It fosters a better understanding of human kinds. It disintegrates ignorance and distrust between or among human kinds. It builds the edifice of culture on a new ground full of vitality. It supplants the rather dry uniformity of non-multicultural societies. It warns or forbids ignoramuses from being openly discriminatory or racists. It advances the principle that race consciousness may be irrelevant, especially in the light of a global village. It, above all, helps to build international relations in a pleasing direction,It's like opening the door that seems too heavy for you to open it alone..
Maybe, a bold social experiment that uproots the dominant culture in favour of the principle: "let us build everything afresh!" could engender an encouraging synthesis of laws, mores, education, business, and the rest. This unusual experiment, this untested undeavour, this revolutionary activity, may be far more a blessing than a curse. Maybe, it is time to undertake such an experiment.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
excessive worry or anxiety
Stigma: Building Awareness And Understanding About Mental Illness
Mental illness can strike anyone! It knows no age limits, economic status, race, creed or color. During the course of a year, more than 54 million Americans are affected by one or more mental disorders.
Medical science has made incredible progress over the last century in helping us understand, curing and eliminating the causes of many diseases including mental illnesses. However, while doctors continue to solve some of the mysteries of the brain, many of its functions remain a puzzle.
Even at the leading research centers, no one fully understands how the brain works or why it malfunctions. However, researchers have determined that many mental illnesses are probably the result of chemical imbalances in the brain. These imbalances may be inherited, or may develop because of excessive stress or substance abuse.
It is sometimes easy to forget that our brain, like all of our other organs, is vulnerable to disease. People with mental illnesses often exhibit many types of behaviors such as extreme sadness and irritability, and in more severe cases, they may also suffer from hallucinations and total withdrawal. Instead of receiving compassion and acceptance, people with mental illnesses may experience hostility, discrimination, and stigma.
Why does stigma still exist?
Unfortunately, the media is responsible for many of the misconceptions which persist about people with mental illnesses. Newspapers, in particular, often stress a history of mental illness in the backgrounds of people who commit crimes of violence.
Newspapers, in particular, often stress a history of mental illness in the backgrounds of people who commit crimes of violence. Television news programs frequently sensationalize crimes where persons with mental illnesses are involved.
Comedians make fun of people with mental illnesses, using their disabilities as a source of humor. Also, national advertisers use stigmatizing images as promotional gimmicks to sell products.
Ironically, the media also offers our best hope for eradicating stigma because of its power to educate and influence public opinion.
What Is A Mental Illness?
A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thinking, perception and behavior. If these disturbances significantly impair a person's ability to cope with life's ordinary demands and routines, then he or she should immediately seek proper treatment with a mental health professional. With the proper care and treatment, a person can recover and resume normal activities.
Many mental illnesses are believed to have biological causes, just like cancer, diabetes and heart disease, but some mental disorders are caused by a person's environment and experiences.
The five major categories of mental illness:
·Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illnesses. The three main types are: phobias, panic disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. People who suffer from phobias experience extreme fear or dread from a particular object or situation.
Panic disorders involve sudden, intense feelings of terror for no apparent reason and symptoms similar to a heart attack. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder try to cope with anxiety by repeating words or phrases or engaging in repetitive, ritualistic behavior such as constant hand washing.
· Mood Disorders
Mood disorders include depression and bipolar disorder (or manic depression) symptoms may include mood swings such as extreme sadness or elation, sleep and eating disturbances, and changes in activity and energy levels. Suicide may be a risk with these disorders.
·Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia is a serious disorder that affects how a person thinks, feels, and acts. Schizophrenia is believed to be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain that produce a variety of symptoms including hallucinations, delusions, withdrawal, incoherent speech and impaired reasoning.
·Dementias
This group of disorders includes diseases like Alzheimer's which leads to loss of mental functions, including memory loss and a decline in intellectual and physical skills.
·Eating Disorders
Anorexia nervosa and bulimia involves serious, potentially life-threatening illnesses. People with these disorders have a preoccupation with food and an irrational fear of being fat. Anorexia is self-starvation while bulimia involves cycles of bingeing (consuming large quantities of food) and purging (self-inducing vomiting or abusing laxatives). Behavior may also include excessive exercise.
Common Misconceptions About Mental Illness
Myth: "Young people and children don't suffer from mental health problems."
Fact: It is estimated that more than 6 million young people in America may suffer from a mental health disorder that severely disrupts their ability to function at home, in school, or in their community.
Myth: "People who need psychiatric care should be locked away in institutions."
Fact: Today, most people can lead productive lives within their communities thanks to a variety of supports, programs, and/or medications.
Myth: "A person who has had a mental illness can never be normal."
Fact: People with mental illnesses can recover and resume normal activities. For example, Mike Wallace of "60 Minutes", who has clinical depression, has received treatment and today leads an enriched and accomplished life.
Myth: "Mentally ill persons are dangerous."
Fact: The vast majority of people with mental illnesses are not violent. In the cases when violence does occur, the incidence typically results from the same reasons as with the general public such as feeling threatened or excessive use of alcohol and/or drugs.
Myth: "People with mental illnesses can work low-level jobs but aren't suited for really important or responsible positions."
Fact: People with mental illnesses, like everyone else, have the potential to work at any level depending on their own abilities, experience and motivation.
How You Can Combat stigma:
1 Share your experience with mental illness,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. Your story can convey to others that having a mental illness is nothing to be embarrassed about.
2 Help people with mental illness reenter society. Support their efforts to obtain housing and jobs.
3 Respond to false statements about mental illness or people with mental illnesses. Many people have wrong and damaging ideas on the subject. Accurate facts and information may help change both their ideas and actions,you find that it is almost impossible to not smile.
Mental Illness in the Family
Recognizing the Warning Signs & How to Cope
Most people believe that mental disorders are rare and "happen to someone else." In fact, mental disorders are common and widespread. An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year.
Most families are not prepared to cope with learning their loved one has a mental illness. It can be physically and emotionally trying, and can make us feel vulnerable to the opinions and judgments of others.
If you think you or someone you know may have a mental or emotional problem, it is important to remember there is hope and help.
What is mental illness?
A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thought and/or behavior, resulting in an inability to cope with life's ordinary demands and routines.
There are more than 200 classified forms of mental illness. Some of the more common disorders are depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders. Symptoms may include changes in mood, personality, personal habits and/or social withdrawl.
Mental health problems may be related to excessive stress due to a particular situation or series of events. As with cancer, diabetes and heart disease, mental illnesses are often physical as well as emotional and psychological,only you take it a step higher. If you could view or perceive your intention on your thoughts. Mental illnesses may be caused by a reaction to environmental stresses, genetic factors, biochemical imbalances, or a combination of these. With proper care and treatment many individuals learn to cope or recover from a mental illness or emotional disorder.
How to cope day-to-day
Accept your feelings
Despite the different symptoms and types of mental illnesses, many families who have a loved one with mental illness, share similar experiences. You may find yourself denying the warning signs, worrying what other people will think because of the stigma, or wondering what caused your loved one to become ill. Accept that these feelings are normal and common among families going through similar situations. Find out all you can about your loved one's illness by reading and talking with mental health professionals. Share what you have learned with others.
Handling unusual behavior
The outward signs of a mental illness are often behavioral. Individuals may be extremely quiet or withdrawn. Conversely, he or she may burst into tears or have outbursts of anger. Even after treatment has started, individuals with a mental illness can exhibit anti-social behaviors.
When in public, these behaviors can be disruptive and difficult to accept.
The next time you and your family member visit your doctor or mental health professional, discuss these behaviors and develop a strategy for coping.
Establishing a support network
Whenever possible, seek support from friends and family members. If you feel you cannot discuss your situation with friends or other family members,What kind of God, find a self-help or support group. These groups provide an opportunity for you to talk to other people who are experiencing the same type of problems. They can listen and offer valuable advice.
Seeking counseling
Therapy can be beneficial for both the individual with mental illness and other family members. A mental health professional can suggest ways to cope and better understand your loved one's illness.
When looking for a therapist, be patient and talk to a few professionals so you can choose the person that is right for you and your family. It may take time until you are comfortable, but in the long run you will be glad you sought help.
Taking time out
It is common for the person with the mental illness to become the focus of family life. When this happens, other members of the family may feel ignored or resentful. Some may find it difficult to pursue their own interests.
If you are the caregiver, you need some time for yourself. Schedule time away to prevent becoming frustrated or angry. If you schedule time for yourself it will help you to keep things in perspective and you may have more patience and compassion for coping or helping your loved one. Only when you are physically and emotionally healthy can you help others.
"Many families who have a loved one with mental illness share similar experiences"
It is important to remember that there is hope for recovery, and that with treatment many people with mental illness return to a productive and fulfilling life.
Warning Signs and Symptoms
To learn more about symptoms that are specific to a particular mental illness, refer to the NMHA brochure on that illness. The following are signs that your loved one may want to speak to a medical or mental health professional.
In adults:
confused thinking
prolonged depression (sadness or irritability)
feelings of extreme highs and lows
excessive fears, worries and anxieties
social withdrawal
dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
strong feelings of anger
delusions or hallucinations
growing inability to cope with daily problems and activities
suicidal thoughts
denial of obvious problems
numerous unexplained physical ailments substance abuse
In older children and pre-adolescents:
substance abuse \ inability to cope with problems and daily activities
change in sleeping and/or eating habits
excessive complaints of physical ailments
defiance of authority, truancy, theft, and/or vandalism
intense fear of weight gain
prolonged negative mood, often accompanied by poor appetite or thoughts of death
frequent outbursts of anger
In younger children:
changes in school performance
poor grades despite strong efforts
excessive worry or anxiety (i.e. refusing to go to bed or school)
hyperactivity
persistent nightmares
persistent disobedience or aggression frequent temper tantrums
Mental illness can strike anyone! It knows no age limits, economic status, race, creed or color. During the course of a year, more than 54 million Americans are affected by one or more mental disorders.
Medical science has made incredible progress over the last century in helping us understand, curing and eliminating the causes of many diseases including mental illnesses. However, while doctors continue to solve some of the mysteries of the brain, many of its functions remain a puzzle.
Even at the leading research centers, no one fully understands how the brain works or why it malfunctions. However, researchers have determined that many mental illnesses are probably the result of chemical imbalances in the brain. These imbalances may be inherited, or may develop because of excessive stress or substance abuse.
It is sometimes easy to forget that our brain, like all of our other organs, is vulnerable to disease. People with mental illnesses often exhibit many types of behaviors such as extreme sadness and irritability, and in more severe cases, they may also suffer from hallucinations and total withdrawal. Instead of receiving compassion and acceptance, people with mental illnesses may experience hostility, discrimination, and stigma.
Why does stigma still exist?
Unfortunately, the media is responsible for many of the misconceptions which persist about people with mental illnesses. Newspapers, in particular, often stress a history of mental illness in the backgrounds of people who commit crimes of violence.
Newspapers, in particular, often stress a history of mental illness in the backgrounds of people who commit crimes of violence. Television news programs frequently sensationalize crimes where persons with mental illnesses are involved.
Comedians make fun of people with mental illnesses, using their disabilities as a source of humor. Also, national advertisers use stigmatizing images as promotional gimmicks to sell products.
Ironically, the media also offers our best hope for eradicating stigma because of its power to educate and influence public opinion.
What Is A Mental Illness?
A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thinking, perception and behavior. If these disturbances significantly impair a person's ability to cope with life's ordinary demands and routines, then he or she should immediately seek proper treatment with a mental health professional. With the proper care and treatment, a person can recover and resume normal activities.
Many mental illnesses are believed to have biological causes, just like cancer, diabetes and heart disease, but some mental disorders are caused by a person's environment and experiences.
The five major categories of mental illness:
·Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illnesses. The three main types are: phobias, panic disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. People who suffer from phobias experience extreme fear or dread from a particular object or situation.
Panic disorders involve sudden, intense feelings of terror for no apparent reason and symptoms similar to a heart attack. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder try to cope with anxiety by repeating words or phrases or engaging in repetitive, ritualistic behavior such as constant hand washing.
· Mood Disorders
Mood disorders include depression and bipolar disorder (or manic depression) symptoms may include mood swings such as extreme sadness or elation, sleep and eating disturbances, and changes in activity and energy levels. Suicide may be a risk with these disorders.
·Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia is a serious disorder that affects how a person thinks, feels, and acts. Schizophrenia is believed to be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain that produce a variety of symptoms including hallucinations, delusions, withdrawal, incoherent speech and impaired reasoning.
·Dementias
This group of disorders includes diseases like Alzheimer's which leads to loss of mental functions, including memory loss and a decline in intellectual and physical skills.
·Eating Disorders
Anorexia nervosa and bulimia involves serious, potentially life-threatening illnesses. People with these disorders have a preoccupation with food and an irrational fear of being fat. Anorexia is self-starvation while bulimia involves cycles of bingeing (consuming large quantities of food) and purging (self-inducing vomiting or abusing laxatives). Behavior may also include excessive exercise.
Common Misconceptions About Mental Illness
Myth: "Young people and children don't suffer from mental health problems."
Fact: It is estimated that more than 6 million young people in America may suffer from a mental health disorder that severely disrupts their ability to function at home, in school, or in their community.
Myth: "People who need psychiatric care should be locked away in institutions."
Fact: Today, most people can lead productive lives within their communities thanks to a variety of supports, programs, and/or medications.
Myth: "A person who has had a mental illness can never be normal."
Fact: People with mental illnesses can recover and resume normal activities. For example, Mike Wallace of "60 Minutes", who has clinical depression, has received treatment and today leads an enriched and accomplished life.
Myth: "Mentally ill persons are dangerous."
Fact: The vast majority of people with mental illnesses are not violent. In the cases when violence does occur, the incidence typically results from the same reasons as with the general public such as feeling threatened or excessive use of alcohol and/or drugs.
Myth: "People with mental illnesses can work low-level jobs but aren't suited for really important or responsible positions."
Fact: People with mental illnesses, like everyone else, have the potential to work at any level depending on their own abilities, experience and motivation.
How You Can Combat stigma:
1 Share your experience with mental illness,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. Your story can convey to others that having a mental illness is nothing to be embarrassed about.
2 Help people with mental illness reenter society. Support their efforts to obtain housing and jobs.
3 Respond to false statements about mental illness or people with mental illnesses. Many people have wrong and damaging ideas on the subject. Accurate facts and information may help change both their ideas and actions,you find that it is almost impossible to not smile.
Mental Illness in the Family
Recognizing the Warning Signs & How to Cope
Most people believe that mental disorders are rare and "happen to someone else." In fact, mental disorders are common and widespread. An estimated 54 million Americans suffer from some form of mental disorder in a given year.
Most families are not prepared to cope with learning their loved one has a mental illness. It can be physically and emotionally trying, and can make us feel vulnerable to the opinions and judgments of others.
If you think you or someone you know may have a mental or emotional problem, it is important to remember there is hope and help.
What is mental illness?
A mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in thought and/or behavior, resulting in an inability to cope with life's ordinary demands and routines.
There are more than 200 classified forms of mental illness. Some of the more common disorders are depression, bipolar disorder, dementia, schizophrenia and anxiety disorders. Symptoms may include changes in mood, personality, personal habits and/or social withdrawl.
Mental health problems may be related to excessive stress due to a particular situation or series of events. As with cancer, diabetes and heart disease, mental illnesses are often physical as well as emotional and psychological,only you take it a step higher. If you could view or perceive your intention on your thoughts. Mental illnesses may be caused by a reaction to environmental stresses, genetic factors, biochemical imbalances, or a combination of these. With proper care and treatment many individuals learn to cope or recover from a mental illness or emotional disorder.
How to cope day-to-day
Accept your feelings
Despite the different symptoms and types of mental illnesses, many families who have a loved one with mental illness, share similar experiences. You may find yourself denying the warning signs, worrying what other people will think because of the stigma, or wondering what caused your loved one to become ill. Accept that these feelings are normal and common among families going through similar situations. Find out all you can about your loved one's illness by reading and talking with mental health professionals. Share what you have learned with others.
Handling unusual behavior
The outward signs of a mental illness are often behavioral. Individuals may be extremely quiet or withdrawn. Conversely, he or she may burst into tears or have outbursts of anger. Even after treatment has started, individuals with a mental illness can exhibit anti-social behaviors.
When in public, these behaviors can be disruptive and difficult to accept.
The next time you and your family member visit your doctor or mental health professional, discuss these behaviors and develop a strategy for coping.
Establishing a support network
Whenever possible, seek support from friends and family members. If you feel you cannot discuss your situation with friends or other family members,What kind of God, find a self-help or support group. These groups provide an opportunity for you to talk to other people who are experiencing the same type of problems. They can listen and offer valuable advice.
Seeking counseling
Therapy can be beneficial for both the individual with mental illness and other family members. A mental health professional can suggest ways to cope and better understand your loved one's illness.
When looking for a therapist, be patient and talk to a few professionals so you can choose the person that is right for you and your family. It may take time until you are comfortable, but in the long run you will be glad you sought help.
Taking time out
It is common for the person with the mental illness to become the focus of family life. When this happens, other members of the family may feel ignored or resentful. Some may find it difficult to pursue their own interests.
If you are the caregiver, you need some time for yourself. Schedule time away to prevent becoming frustrated or angry. If you schedule time for yourself it will help you to keep things in perspective and you may have more patience and compassion for coping or helping your loved one. Only when you are physically and emotionally healthy can you help others.
"Many families who have a loved one with mental illness share similar experiences"
It is important to remember that there is hope for recovery, and that with treatment many people with mental illness return to a productive and fulfilling life.
Warning Signs and Symptoms
To learn more about symptoms that are specific to a particular mental illness, refer to the NMHA brochure on that illness. The following are signs that your loved one may want to speak to a medical or mental health professional.
In adults:
confused thinking
prolonged depression (sadness or irritability)
feelings of extreme highs and lows
excessive fears, worries and anxieties
social withdrawal
dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
strong feelings of anger
delusions or hallucinations
growing inability to cope with daily problems and activities
suicidal thoughts
denial of obvious problems
numerous unexplained physical ailments substance abuse
In older children and pre-adolescents:
substance abuse \ inability to cope with problems and daily activities
change in sleeping and/or eating habits
excessive complaints of physical ailments
defiance of authority, truancy, theft, and/or vandalism
intense fear of weight gain
prolonged negative mood, often accompanied by poor appetite or thoughts of death
frequent outbursts of anger
In younger children:
changes in school performance
poor grades despite strong efforts
excessive worry or anxiety (i.e. refusing to go to bed or school)
hyperactivity
persistent nightmares
persistent disobedience or aggression frequent temper tantrums
Friday, November 9, 2012
just action-reaction. In other words
The Impeccability of the Word
It is amazing how many folks mention after reading "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz, that the first agreement (be impeccable with your word) doesn't seem to be as difficult as the second or third agreements (don't take anything personally and never make assumptions). They say, "Sure, I can stop gossiping or be careful to speak more kindly when I am communicating, but not taking anything personally or making assumptions.well that's really difficult!" Personally, I think the first agreement is the most difficult because what originates in our head is even more important than what does or does not come out of our mouth. Even if we stopped sending people our opinions and gossip, even if we stopped judging out loud or arguing, have we really changed what we are thinking in our head?
The only way to have impeccability of the word is to have impeccability of the voice that speaks to us in our head! Most humans have no idea why they say the things they do. They speak on auto pilot, assume they are right, and speak without consideration. The need to be right, and the belief that we are right, is what causes arguments and disagreements in our communications. Even if we've worked hard at keeping our judgments and opinions to ourselves, we're probably still saying things in our head that aren't impeccable. Things like, "My boss is stupid," "My beloved is stubborn" and "I was an idiot for saying what I said at work today." This certainly doesn't demonstrate impeccability of the word!
If we want to stop judging and become impeccable with our word, we have to look at the beliefs behind the judgments because it's the beliefs that create the judgments. After all, we cannot pass judgment without having a rule to pass judgment from. Don Miguel calls the belief system of our mind our book of law, but I like to call it our computer program.
I've imagined myself as a child with my brand new hard drive, Pentium 4. Then my domestication begins and the program of life software gets downloaded by my parents, teachers, friends, TV, magazines,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, etc. By the time we are adults the hard drive is filled with all kinds of useless and somewhat useful information, but very little wisdom. Each "byte" of information has a voice and speaks to us regardless of what situation we're in or what we're doing. The voice in our head is present non stop, 24/7, and most of this "knowledge" is conflicting and not necessarily the truth!
As we're living our life, the program constantly assesses each situation and compares it to what currently exists in our data base. The program also analyzes the results of similar previous life situations. Once the program has completed its analysis, it tells us what to do. Rarely is there any conscious thought involved in this process, just action-reaction. In other words, the computer program is living our life for us instead of our Spirit.
For example, when your husband tries to talk to you may start arguing, using the same pattern of communication you've always had with him. The way to break this cycle is to take inventory of everything you believe about yourself and the world. In other words, do a brain drain of the program in your journal. Many people find the process of creating their own journal of beliefs to be a difficult and onerous task. Why? Because the information contained in the program isn't very pleasant! The denial system wants to cut in right away and say, "Oh no, I just thought that but I don't really believe it." Of course, the program doesn't want to be overthrown by the real you as Spirit!
For example, we may have learned as a child that people society considers to be overweight are ugly and should be made fun of,interesting context and a thought-provoking conclusion, that they should diet, that they are weak, or that they shouldn't dress fashionably...just wear loose clothing. Even if we never express those sentiments out loud, every time a person we feel is overweight is near us, the voices in our head say nasty things. Sure we're glad you that no one can hear our thoughts, but let's be honest, we're still saying them in our heads. Our minds are so interesting and clever that they know exactly what to say to capture our attention and get us to listen!
The challenge is realizing that we do not have to believe our thoughts or the computer program. Of course this is harder than it sounds. That's because we believe that we are what we think. We believe these are our thoughts instead of believing that these thoughts are a product of our computer program,Copyright 2004 byGerri D Smith. The truth is our Spirit speaks not with words or thoughts, but with the feelings from our heart. If we listen to our heart, the voice of our integrity, it will never steer us wrong. Once we understand the program is not the real us, we can stop listening to the nonsense and, instead, use the information as we need it when we need it.
We can never delete the program in our mind but we can place our attention on the feelings of our heart over the yapping of our mind. The mind is talking all day long, pronouncing judgment after judgment. Being aware of our mind and the thoughts the program is generating is the first step, but until we have clarity regarding our beliefs and choose not to believe our program any more, those voices will keep on coming.
Detaching from our beliefs will help them to lose their power and not hook our attention any more. If we say to the voices, "No thanks, I don't choose to listen to that garbage anymore" or "Thanks for sharing but I don't buy that anymore," it will help to quiet the voices. It is also beneficial to see if the voice is expressing a sentiment from love as opposed to one based in fear. So,Sometimes people get addicted to wounded sadness as a way of avoiding the core sadness, take the challenge and start your own journal. You just might be surprised what you believe!
It is amazing how many folks mention after reading "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz, that the first agreement (be impeccable with your word) doesn't seem to be as difficult as the second or third agreements (don't take anything personally and never make assumptions). They say, "Sure, I can stop gossiping or be careful to speak more kindly when I am communicating, but not taking anything personally or making assumptions.well that's really difficult!" Personally, I think the first agreement is the most difficult because what originates in our head is even more important than what does or does not come out of our mouth. Even if we stopped sending people our opinions and gossip, even if we stopped judging out loud or arguing, have we really changed what we are thinking in our head?
The only way to have impeccability of the word is to have impeccability of the voice that speaks to us in our head! Most humans have no idea why they say the things they do. They speak on auto pilot, assume they are right, and speak without consideration. The need to be right, and the belief that we are right, is what causes arguments and disagreements in our communications. Even if we've worked hard at keeping our judgments and opinions to ourselves, we're probably still saying things in our head that aren't impeccable. Things like, "My boss is stupid," "My beloved is stubborn" and "I was an idiot for saying what I said at work today." This certainly doesn't demonstrate impeccability of the word!
If we want to stop judging and become impeccable with our word, we have to look at the beliefs behind the judgments because it's the beliefs that create the judgments. After all, we cannot pass judgment without having a rule to pass judgment from. Don Miguel calls the belief system of our mind our book of law, but I like to call it our computer program.
I've imagined myself as a child with my brand new hard drive, Pentium 4. Then my domestication begins and the program of life software gets downloaded by my parents, teachers, friends, TV, magazines,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, etc. By the time we are adults the hard drive is filled with all kinds of useless and somewhat useful information, but very little wisdom. Each "byte" of information has a voice and speaks to us regardless of what situation we're in or what we're doing. The voice in our head is present non stop, 24/7, and most of this "knowledge" is conflicting and not necessarily the truth!
As we're living our life, the program constantly assesses each situation and compares it to what currently exists in our data base. The program also analyzes the results of similar previous life situations. Once the program has completed its analysis, it tells us what to do. Rarely is there any conscious thought involved in this process, just action-reaction. In other words, the computer program is living our life for us instead of our Spirit.
For example, when your husband tries to talk to you may start arguing, using the same pattern of communication you've always had with him. The way to break this cycle is to take inventory of everything you believe about yourself and the world. In other words, do a brain drain of the program in your journal. Many people find the process of creating their own journal of beliefs to be a difficult and onerous task. Why? Because the information contained in the program isn't very pleasant! The denial system wants to cut in right away and say, "Oh no, I just thought that but I don't really believe it." Of course, the program doesn't want to be overthrown by the real you as Spirit!
For example, we may have learned as a child that people society considers to be overweight are ugly and should be made fun of,interesting context and a thought-provoking conclusion, that they should diet, that they are weak, or that they shouldn't dress fashionably...just wear loose clothing. Even if we never express those sentiments out loud, every time a person we feel is overweight is near us, the voices in our head say nasty things. Sure we're glad you that no one can hear our thoughts, but let's be honest, we're still saying them in our heads. Our minds are so interesting and clever that they know exactly what to say to capture our attention and get us to listen!
The challenge is realizing that we do not have to believe our thoughts or the computer program. Of course this is harder than it sounds. That's because we believe that we are what we think. We believe these are our thoughts instead of believing that these thoughts are a product of our computer program,Copyright 2004 byGerri D Smith. The truth is our Spirit speaks not with words or thoughts, but with the feelings from our heart. If we listen to our heart, the voice of our integrity, it will never steer us wrong. Once we understand the program is not the real us, we can stop listening to the nonsense and, instead, use the information as we need it when we need it.
We can never delete the program in our mind but we can place our attention on the feelings of our heart over the yapping of our mind. The mind is talking all day long, pronouncing judgment after judgment. Being aware of our mind and the thoughts the program is generating is the first step, but until we have clarity regarding our beliefs and choose not to believe our program any more, those voices will keep on coming.
Detaching from our beliefs will help them to lose their power and not hook our attention any more. If we say to the voices, "No thanks, I don't choose to listen to that garbage anymore" or "Thanks for sharing but I don't buy that anymore," it will help to quiet the voices. It is also beneficial to see if the voice is expressing a sentiment from love as opposed to one based in fear. So,Sometimes people get addicted to wounded sadness as a way of avoiding the core sadness, take the challenge and start your own journal. You just might be surprised what you believe!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
increased by 61.9% when compared to November 2008
A Strong Business Community Thrives on Entrepreneurial Spirit in Western North Carolina by Nora Hall
Asheville residents have a BUY LOCAL attitude and, since Downtown Asheville has been dominated by locally owned and operated businesses since population growth really started to pick up in the 1990's, most large chains and corporate businesses chose to locate just along the edge of downtown. The percentage of self-employed workers in Asheville is much higher than the state or national average. Local small and medium size businesses are supported by a variety of local organizations such as: The Small Business Incubator, Asheville SCORE, The SBTDC (Small Business and Technology Development Center) and Mountain Bizworks. Throughout Asheville's history men and women, artists and business owners, young and old have prospered because they chose to follow, build and share their personal and professional dreams.
A Professional Atmosphere Rooted in Passion, Originality, Creativity and Inspiration
In the North Carolina mountains business is not "as usual". In Asheville, companies are just as likely to collaborate with competitors, as they are to compete against them. Cooperation and professional support between businesses is common. The success of one company affects the success of the community as a whole and Asheville professionals seem fully aware. The one thing many Asheville business owners and professionals who've relocated in recent years share is that they moved to Western North Carolina because of the high quality of life. When you live somewhere you love it makes everything richer, this is why the business community of Asheville celebrates qualities like passion, originality, creativity and inspiration,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. As small business owners,doesn't it, innovators, entrepreneurs, and professionals we must be motivated and driven; this is what allows us to accomplish our goals and build a strong, economically sound, thriving city.
Economic Growth in Asheville and throughout Western North Carolina
In 2009 Asheville struggled with economic issues, rising unemployment rates and a major slow down in the real estate and construction industries. There were however some bright spots throughout the year, despite the national slump. The Asheville Chamber of Commerce and the Asheville Metro Business Research Center reported (1) heavy job loss in the Manufacturing and Construction industries, as well as a large increase in jobs available in the Health Services and Private Education sector. The report also cites that although the city of Asheville's unemployment rate did increase between November 2008 and November 2009, the city did not see the same percentage increase that surrounding counties experienced. (2) Currently the majority of local businesses seem to have weathered the storm and downtown continues to develop and welcome new companies to the scene.
Asheville's Commercial Real Estate and Housing Market
It's impossible to talk about business without talking about real estate. Most business owners know real estate, whether commercial or residential, is a sound investment. Asheville continues to grow in many ways, even though real estate everywhere has experienced a slow down last year,such as cardiac arrest or electrolyte imbalance. The total number of homes sold in November 2009 (204) increased by 61.9% when compared to November 2008 (126) and the average price home price dropped by approximately $20,000, which makes buying a home in Asheville much more affordable. (3) Commercial real estate in Asheville is a fascinating business. There are countless real estate options to purchase new construction or rehab and older building, whether it be River District warehouses or downtown lofts; from residential or retail space at the Grove Arcade to secluded homes with a mountain view.
Asheville, NC is truly a unique city, one that attracts professionals and entrepreneurs of the creative class. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, but being part of a community that provides support, encouragement and resources to all shapes and sizes of contributing businesses is a great start to a bright future,as I participated in most things that children did.
(1, 2, 3) Asheville MSA Industry Employment Change November Year Over Year
Asheville residents have a BUY LOCAL attitude and, since Downtown Asheville has been dominated by locally owned and operated businesses since population growth really started to pick up in the 1990's, most large chains and corporate businesses chose to locate just along the edge of downtown. The percentage of self-employed workers in Asheville is much higher than the state or national average. Local small and medium size businesses are supported by a variety of local organizations such as: The Small Business Incubator, Asheville SCORE, The SBTDC (Small Business and Technology Development Center) and Mountain Bizworks. Throughout Asheville's history men and women, artists and business owners, young and old have prospered because they chose to follow, build and share their personal and professional dreams.
A Professional Atmosphere Rooted in Passion, Originality, Creativity and Inspiration
In the North Carolina mountains business is not "as usual". In Asheville, companies are just as likely to collaborate with competitors, as they are to compete against them. Cooperation and professional support between businesses is common. The success of one company affects the success of the community as a whole and Asheville professionals seem fully aware. The one thing many Asheville business owners and professionals who've relocated in recent years share is that they moved to Western North Carolina because of the high quality of life. When you live somewhere you love it makes everything richer, this is why the business community of Asheville celebrates qualities like passion, originality, creativity and inspiration,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. As small business owners,doesn't it, innovators, entrepreneurs, and professionals we must be motivated and driven; this is what allows us to accomplish our goals and build a strong, economically sound, thriving city.
Economic Growth in Asheville and throughout Western North Carolina
In 2009 Asheville struggled with economic issues, rising unemployment rates and a major slow down in the real estate and construction industries. There were however some bright spots throughout the year, despite the national slump. The Asheville Chamber of Commerce and the Asheville Metro Business Research Center reported (1) heavy job loss in the Manufacturing and Construction industries, as well as a large increase in jobs available in the Health Services and Private Education sector. The report also cites that although the city of Asheville's unemployment rate did increase between November 2008 and November 2009, the city did not see the same percentage increase that surrounding counties experienced. (2) Currently the majority of local businesses seem to have weathered the storm and downtown continues to develop and welcome new companies to the scene.
Asheville's Commercial Real Estate and Housing Market
It's impossible to talk about business without talking about real estate. Most business owners know real estate, whether commercial or residential, is a sound investment. Asheville continues to grow in many ways, even though real estate everywhere has experienced a slow down last year,such as cardiac arrest or electrolyte imbalance. The total number of homes sold in November 2009 (204) increased by 61.9% when compared to November 2008 (126) and the average price home price dropped by approximately $20,000, which makes buying a home in Asheville much more affordable. (3) Commercial real estate in Asheville is a fascinating business. There are countless real estate options to purchase new construction or rehab and older building, whether it be River District warehouses or downtown lofts; from residential or retail space at the Grove Arcade to secluded homes with a mountain view.
Asheville, NC is truly a unique city, one that attracts professionals and entrepreneurs of the creative class. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, but being part of a community that provides support, encouragement and resources to all shapes and sizes of contributing businesses is a great start to a bright future,as I participated in most things that children did.
(1, 2, 3) Asheville MSA Industry Employment Change November Year Over Year
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Are people offending or avoiding you
What You Give Is What You Get!
Are you having a hard time relating to others? Are people offending or avoiding you? Are you unable to maintain friends? Well, chances are that you are holding the key to the door called solution. I know you might be thinking,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, me? What control do I have over other people? And you are probably right; you do not or, can not control other people's actions. But, there is one thing you can do: Take charge of your own behavior.
Others actions can just be a mirror of yours, here are some examples that promote negative energy towards you:
perhaps you are feeling disoriented and are not so much fun to be around,
maybe you are hurtful or mean to others by saying rude comments
Are you depressed?
Do you nag all the time,Five years ago?
Are you treating your friends and family with respect?
Are you a gossiper?
These are just some examples of negative habits that persuade others to stay away from you. So remember "what you give is what you get". Take sometime to reflect, and once you find what is wrong, contemplate on the possible solution and last make the possible changes. Remember no one knows you better than yourself,and the overall listening cognition is that of a beat, so the solution is right inside of you.
Love and be loved,to achieve your maximum potential. You,
Kenia Morales
Are you having a hard time relating to others? Are people offending or avoiding you? Are you unable to maintain friends? Well, chances are that you are holding the key to the door called solution. I know you might be thinking,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, me? What control do I have over other people? And you are probably right; you do not or, can not control other people's actions. But, there is one thing you can do: Take charge of your own behavior.
Others actions can just be a mirror of yours, here are some examples that promote negative energy towards you:
perhaps you are feeling disoriented and are not so much fun to be around,
maybe you are hurtful or mean to others by saying rude comments
Are you depressed?
Do you nag all the time,Five years ago?
Are you treating your friends and family with respect?
Are you a gossiper?
These are just some examples of negative habits that persuade others to stay away from you. So remember "what you give is what you get". Take sometime to reflect, and once you find what is wrong, contemplate on the possible solution and last make the possible changes. Remember no one knows you better than yourself,and the overall listening cognition is that of a beat, so the solution is right inside of you.
Love and be loved,to achieve your maximum potential. You,
Kenia Morales
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Declutter with the Clutter Free Decision Making Keys by Jane Alais
Declutter with the Clutter Free Decision Making Keys by Jane Alais
Accumulating clutter sometimes seems to happen all of a sudden but the truth is for most people this is a pattern that has been happening for years. Shifting from a clutter accumulating pattern to a reducing clutter pattern starts with your thinking. This may require taking a few minutes to decide on new standards for what you will keep and what you want to let go. Clutter is always about delaying decisions and taking the time to write down new clutter free standards gets you making decisions again.
A quick way to jump start this as you declutter your home is to use the Clutter Free Decision Making Keys so you can move from indecision to decision again. These keys let you instantly set a clutter free boundary replacing your excuses with reasons to keep or let go. Using these keys will make your decluttering challenges simple and quick and let you quickly identify what isn't working for you in your life.
You can declutter quickly using all five keys at once or work your way through your home using one key at a time. Clutter is often a way to keep stuck and set roadblocks so you may find that on certain occasions you may have to use all five keys to get your redundant stuff out of your home. Here are the five BeFree Clutter Free Decision Making Keys that can move mountains of clutter from your home.
Clutter Free Key One: Do you love it: This is a simple yet powerful key. It is possible to live with what you love. A home that is filled with what you love is a home with heart. It is also the start of discovering your sense of style and design,Some Spiritual Laws Of Life by Michelle Mayur. Ask yourself if you love the color, shape, design, texture or style of the item that you are decluttering. If it doesn't meet this standard what does. Living with what you love shifts your focus in life so you become aware of you prefer and really love in life. Use this key with everything you own.
Clutter Free Key Two: Do you use it: Many clutterholics have more things stored than what they actually use,they wouldn't have to pay us for it. However. If you are not using it why are you storing it? When will you use it? When are you going to need it? if you can't answer these questions it's time to let the stored stuff go. Just asking these questions about possessions you haven't seen for a while can make the shift to the clutter free mind set.
Clutter Free Key Three: Is this item uplifting? Possessions that make you feel happy to look at, use or wear all add to creating a happy feeling home. Items that create bad memories, unwanted gifts or possessions that create work can drain your energy. Start to tune in how you feel as well as what you see.
Clutter Free Key Four: Set limits on every item you own: This Key is about creating quality instead of quantity, so you keep and use the best and get rid of the rest. Is there anything you know you have too much of? Setting limits on clothing, home wares, knick knacks, books, magazines lets you think before you buy and identify what you really love,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. Once you set clear limits on how many you need try the one in one out rule. Every time you buy something new,wandering, you let go of a similar item.
Clutter Free Key Five: Develop an attitude of letting go: Becoming clutter free means letting go of what you don't need on a regular basis. As you reconnect to what you love and the life you want to create letting go becomes easier. .
Getting rid of clutter is a lot easier when you use the BeFree Clutter Free Decision Making Keys every time you declutter. Tuning into the changes and needs of your life now rather than hanging on to what you have outgrown creates a home free of clutter lets you shift into decision making again and feel good about what you own
Accumulating clutter sometimes seems to happen all of a sudden but the truth is for most people this is a pattern that has been happening for years. Shifting from a clutter accumulating pattern to a reducing clutter pattern starts with your thinking. This may require taking a few minutes to decide on new standards for what you will keep and what you want to let go. Clutter is always about delaying decisions and taking the time to write down new clutter free standards gets you making decisions again.
A quick way to jump start this as you declutter your home is to use the Clutter Free Decision Making Keys so you can move from indecision to decision again. These keys let you instantly set a clutter free boundary replacing your excuses with reasons to keep or let go. Using these keys will make your decluttering challenges simple and quick and let you quickly identify what isn't working for you in your life.
You can declutter quickly using all five keys at once or work your way through your home using one key at a time. Clutter is often a way to keep stuck and set roadblocks so you may find that on certain occasions you may have to use all five keys to get your redundant stuff out of your home. Here are the five BeFree Clutter Free Decision Making Keys that can move mountains of clutter from your home.
Clutter Free Key One: Do you love it: This is a simple yet powerful key. It is possible to live with what you love. A home that is filled with what you love is a home with heart. It is also the start of discovering your sense of style and design,Some Spiritual Laws Of Life by Michelle Mayur. Ask yourself if you love the color, shape, design, texture or style of the item that you are decluttering. If it doesn't meet this standard what does. Living with what you love shifts your focus in life so you become aware of you prefer and really love in life. Use this key with everything you own.
Clutter Free Key Two: Do you use it: Many clutterholics have more things stored than what they actually use,they wouldn't have to pay us for it. However. If you are not using it why are you storing it? When will you use it? When are you going to need it? if you can't answer these questions it's time to let the stored stuff go. Just asking these questions about possessions you haven't seen for a while can make the shift to the clutter free mind set.
Clutter Free Key Three: Is this item uplifting? Possessions that make you feel happy to look at, use or wear all add to creating a happy feeling home. Items that create bad memories, unwanted gifts or possessions that create work can drain your energy. Start to tune in how you feel as well as what you see.
Clutter Free Key Four: Set limits on every item you own: This Key is about creating quality instead of quantity, so you keep and use the best and get rid of the rest. Is there anything you know you have too much of? Setting limits on clothing, home wares, knick knacks, books, magazines lets you think before you buy and identify what you really love,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots. Once you set clear limits on how many you need try the one in one out rule. Every time you buy something new,wandering, you let go of a similar item.
Clutter Free Key Five: Develop an attitude of letting go: Becoming clutter free means letting go of what you don't need on a regular basis. As you reconnect to what you love and the life you want to create letting go becomes easier. .
Getting rid of clutter is a lot easier when you use the BeFree Clutter Free Decision Making Keys every time you declutter. Tuning into the changes and needs of your life now rather than hanging on to what you have outgrown creates a home free of clutter lets you shift into decision making again and feel good about what you own
Friday, November 2, 2012
no salt
Why make a New Year’s resolution when you can make a One Decision?
If you want to lose weight, pay off your credit card, or get organized, you have a bigger decision to make.
Research shows that the average New Year's Resolution fails within three weeks. That means that 21 days after the ball drops, the champagne is gone, and the streamers have all been swept away,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, your grand resolution to lose weight/pay off your debt/quit smoking is going to turn into a big disappointment.
Why do we fail at our New Year's Resolutions year after year? Sure, there are a lucky (and determined) few who manage to stick to their goals, but most of us find ourselves wondering what went wrong. Many people think they need to set smaller goals, but what I'm about to tell you may contradict everything you've heard before.
Your New Year's Resolutions aren't big enough. Your goals aren't big enough.
What I've found in working with people for over 20 years is not that their goals need to be scaled back, but that they don't want enough. They haven't thought about why they want what they want¾why they want to lose weight or quit smoking. They haven't identified a bigger purpose and meaning within their goals, so they are running on sheer will power and are, at best, only successful in a few areas.
More than just setting goals.
It's a revolutionary concept: if you identify what you really, truly want from your New Year's Resolution, you'll find that reaching smaller goals is very do-able,3. Spontaneous laughter, almost natural. Your resolution has to be more than just setting goals for the next year. It has to be a decision about what matters to you and what you really want from life. I call it the One Decision. A One Decision is a very personal choice about who you are and what you care about. The One Decision gives you a reason to go through what it takes to not only achieve your goals, but also to change your life.
If Lance can do it, so can you.
Lance Armstrong, seven-time Tour de France champion, didn't just set a goal to win the Tour de France. He made a bigger commitment about living strong, and that is what gave him the courage and strength to keep winning. That's a One Decision.
You may be thinking, " But I don't want to win the Tour de France! I just want to fit into my jeans!" The power of the One Decision is that once you make it, you will not only achieve the goals in front of you, but also you will expand your vision to encompass much bigger and more far-reaching goals.
Losing weight by loving yourself.
Carrie had tried every diet imaginable—no sugar, no fat, no salt, no wheat, no "white things;" the blood type and body type diets, high fiber diets, liquid diets, and special food diets. She's been on cabbage broth diets, egg diets, celery diets, tuna diets, cottage cheese diets, and even grapefruit diets. In the past 40 years, Carrie has gained and lost enough pounds to equal her total body weight (and probably yours too!). Needless to say, simply resolving to lose weight never worked for her.
Then Carrie made her One Decision—she decided to "love herself beyond measure as a unique gift of God's love." From making that decision, she is beginning to treat her body very differently. When she gets hungry, Carrie asks herself, "What would you feed someone you really loved?" By default she started getting more exercise, deciding that she's worth the extra attention it takes to really take care of herself. Carrie has accepted that she won't be thin overnight—but by making this larger commitment she's already lost over 20 pounds that won't be coming back.
This New Year's, you have the opportunity to not only achieve some goals,Healing Envy by Margaret Paul, but also change your life for the better. Forever.
What will your One Decision be?
Judith Wright—best-selling author, educator, consultant, and lifestyles expert—has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends and over 300 other radio and TV programs. Her new book, The One Decision (Tarcher, 12/29/05), is endorsed by Stephen Covey, Ken Blanchard,talk to your personal physician. See a nurse in a clinic, Tom Peters, and many others. Visit Judith Wright at .
If you want to lose weight, pay off your credit card, or get organized, you have a bigger decision to make.
Research shows that the average New Year's Resolution fails within three weeks. That means that 21 days after the ball drops, the champagne is gone, and the streamers have all been swept away,5819 Ugg Classic Cardy Black Boots, your grand resolution to lose weight/pay off your debt/quit smoking is going to turn into a big disappointment.
Why do we fail at our New Year's Resolutions year after year? Sure, there are a lucky (and determined) few who manage to stick to their goals, but most of us find ourselves wondering what went wrong. Many people think they need to set smaller goals, but what I'm about to tell you may contradict everything you've heard before.
Your New Year's Resolutions aren't big enough. Your goals aren't big enough.
What I've found in working with people for over 20 years is not that their goals need to be scaled back, but that they don't want enough. They haven't thought about why they want what they want¾why they want to lose weight or quit smoking. They haven't identified a bigger purpose and meaning within their goals, so they are running on sheer will power and are, at best, only successful in a few areas.
More than just setting goals.
It's a revolutionary concept: if you identify what you really, truly want from your New Year's Resolution, you'll find that reaching smaller goals is very do-able,3. Spontaneous laughter, almost natural. Your resolution has to be more than just setting goals for the next year. It has to be a decision about what matters to you and what you really want from life. I call it the One Decision. A One Decision is a very personal choice about who you are and what you care about. The One Decision gives you a reason to go through what it takes to not only achieve your goals, but also to change your life.
If Lance can do it, so can you.
Lance Armstrong, seven-time Tour de France champion, didn't just set a goal to win the Tour de France. He made a bigger commitment about living strong, and that is what gave him the courage and strength to keep winning. That's a One Decision.
You may be thinking, " But I don't want to win the Tour de France! I just want to fit into my jeans!" The power of the One Decision is that once you make it, you will not only achieve the goals in front of you, but also you will expand your vision to encompass much bigger and more far-reaching goals.
Losing weight by loving yourself.
Carrie had tried every diet imaginable—no sugar, no fat, no salt, no wheat, no "white things;" the blood type and body type diets, high fiber diets, liquid diets, and special food diets. She's been on cabbage broth diets, egg diets, celery diets, tuna diets, cottage cheese diets, and even grapefruit diets. In the past 40 years, Carrie has gained and lost enough pounds to equal her total body weight (and probably yours too!). Needless to say, simply resolving to lose weight never worked for her.
Then Carrie made her One Decision—she decided to "love herself beyond measure as a unique gift of God's love." From making that decision, she is beginning to treat her body very differently. When she gets hungry, Carrie asks herself, "What would you feed someone you really loved?" By default she started getting more exercise, deciding that she's worth the extra attention it takes to really take care of herself. Carrie has accepted that she won't be thin overnight—but by making this larger commitment she's already lost over 20 pounds that won't be coming back.
This New Year's, you have the opportunity to not only achieve some goals,Healing Envy by Margaret Paul, but also change your life for the better. Forever.
What will your One Decision be?
Judith Wright—best-selling author, educator, consultant, and lifestyles expert—has appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends and over 300 other radio and TV programs. Her new book, The One Decision (Tarcher, 12/29/05), is endorsed by Stephen Covey, Ken Blanchard,talk to your personal physician. See a nurse in a clinic, Tom Peters, and many others. Visit Judith Wright at .
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